// filename randomtagline.js // PURPOSE: // To insert a random tagline from your list into your HTML document. // USEAGE: // in your HTML page, where you want the random tagline to appear, insert the following: // // In your web site, put file randomtagline.js (that is, this file) into the same // directory as your HTML page. // Everytime your HTML page is loaded, or the browser's re-load button is pushed, // a random tagline from the list will appear. // CUSTOMIZATION: // New taglines can be added to the end of the array (order is irrelevant, but your life // will be easier if all of them *are* in [index] order). // Be sure that you do not use an [index] more than once! // (i.e., if you have two or more T[020], only the last one will ever pop up) // After new taglines have been added, change the value of numquotes to // one more than the last [index]. // (i.e., if the last tagline is T[044]="...", have numquotes = 45; // In the tagline, use \" to insert double quotes. You don't have to use \' to // insert single quotes, but it is a good habit to get into. // Use \\ to insert a single backslash. // Use
to insert line breaks, ... for italics, and so on, standard HTML // NOTES: // This is very brute force. Naturally the longer your list of taglines, the slower your HTML // page will load. However a 900+ tagline list will *still* load about five times as // fast as a Java program that does the same thing. numquotes = 995; maxIndex = numquotes-1; T = new Array(numquotes) // Tagline array (starts from "0") T[000]="\"Ach! Tis a hard world!\" said the schoolteacher\'s cat as the globe landed on his head. " T[001]="\"Can you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here,\" asked Alice.
\"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,\" said the cat. " T[002]="\"Danger\" the note said. Frito stared thoughtfully into the sediment of fish hooks and the frothy head of ground glass on his Orca-Cola. " T[003]="\"Energize,\" said Kirk, and the pink bunny appeared. " T[004]="\"Happiness is a warm puppy\", said the python. " T[005]="\"I think not,\" said Descartes (who promptly disappeared) " T[006]="\"I\'d cut down ever Law in England to get at the Devil!\"
\"And what man could stand up in the wind that would blow once you\'d cut down all the laws?\" " T[007]="\"If you\'ve got to ask, you aren\'t ever going to know\"
-- Louie Armstrong, when asked to explain something about jazz. " T[008]="\"In thankful anticipation of a safe return to our homes, we dedicate this offering to the Goddess.\"
-- Inscription carved on the Trojan Horse " T[009]="\"Insult not the White Wizard,\" warned Goodgulf as he drew something from his pocket, \"for I have many powers. Here, pick a card. Any card.\" " T[000]="\"It is the Ngaio Marsh,\" he said, and they saw mysteriously reflected in the mucky pools eerie visions of bodies with ornate daggers in their backs, bullet holes in their heads, and poison bottles in their hands. " T[011]="\"May your head fall off at an inconvenient moment\"
-- Edmund Blackadder " T[012]="\"No no no,\" the Motie said immediately. \"On Mote Prime they\'ve blasted themselves back to the invention of the brick.\" " T[013]="\"No, it\'s not that\" Rimmer said. \"It\'s just your dunderheaded refusal to accept the pointless cruelty of existence. That\'s what gets my goat.\" " T[014]="\"Oh, bother\" said Pooh, as Cthulhu rose up and ate him. " T[015]="\"The point is,\" Saunders said, \"if you have an eternal soul, then there\'s got to be something badly wrong when it\'s having a lot more fun than you.\" " T[016]="\"The way to a man\'s heart is through his stomach,\" he said.
\"That\'s just what I\'ve been thinking,\" said Spam, fingering the hilt of his sword. " T[017]="\"What has the study of biology taught you about the Creator, Dr. Haldane?\"
JBS Haldane: \"I\'m not sure, but he seems to be inordinately fond of beetles.\" " T[018]="\"Yeah. She just stopped by to remind me that my life is an endless purgetory interrupted by profound moments of misery.\" " T[019]="######## <-- Scratch here to reveal your prize " T[0020]="(c) Copywight 1996 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. " T[0021]="(no official affiliation with the above ...) " T[022]="*BING* BabCom Here -- Message for Commander Sinclair " T[023]="Now is a point in time that is already gone. " T[024]="--------- if you cut here, you\'ll probably destroy your monitor ---------- " T[025]="-0.809016994 - the sine of the beast. " T[026]="... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ... " T[027]="...Making tomorrow\'s mistakes Today ... " T[028]="...a Starprobe had been destroyed after it had entered a solar system. Perhaps it had made contact with the mysterious Hunters of the Dawn, who had left their marks upon so many worlds, so close to the Beginning itself. " T[029]="...and tune in next week, kiddies, for another thrill packed adventure of Flash Bambo and the Giant Dung Beetles of the Planet Pppptthhhp! " T[030]="...another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit. " T[031]="...collect call from Earth, will you accept? " T[032]="...just when I had you wriggling in the crushing grip of reason, too. " T[033]="...or I will personally rip your head off and use it for a chamber pot! " T[034]="...the way all reality becomes illusory and observer-oriented when you study general relativity. Or Buddhism. Or get drafted. " T[035]="...we could not come near that white dwarf star, so bad did it radiate...ja, hard X-ray quanta jumping off it like fleas abandoning a sinking dog... " T[036]="1200 bps used to seem so fast " T[037]="13 witches in a hot-tub: A self-cleaning coven " T[038]="640K = 4480K in dog bytes. " T[039]="668 - Neighbor of the Beast " T[040]="7.2 on the sphincter scale. " T[041]="90% of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at. " T[042]="A Freudian slip may be revealing, but a Jungian slip is just a myth-take. " T[043]="A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. " T[044]="A big enough hammer can usually fix anything. " T[045]="A bigot is a person who slams his mind in your face. " T[046]="A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not. " T[047]="A censor is a man who thinks he knows more than you ought to. " T[048]="A child is not a vase to be filled, but a fire to be lit. " T[049]="A city is a large community where people are lonesome together " T[050]="A commander can be wrong, but never uncertain. " T[051]="A cult is a religion with no political power. " T[052]="A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine. " T[053]="A disclaimer for this message is on file in my elevator and may be viewed Monday thru Friday between the hours of 9-5 and between floors 3 thru 11 " T[054]="A dragon on the roof keeps the burglars away. " T[055]="A gentleman is one who never inflicts pain. -- Cardinal Newman.
... unintentionally. -- Oscar Wilde. " T[056]="A good frame of mind... but no picture. " T[057]="A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible. " T[058]="A harp is a nude piano. " T[059]="A hundred thousand lemmings can\'t all be wrong. " T[060]="A lady is one who only shows her underwear intentionally. " T[061]="A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah. " T[062]="A little ignorance goes a long way. " T[063]="A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that he can learn no other way. " T[064]="A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it. " T[065]="A person who won\'t be blackmailed, can\'t be blackmailed. " T[066]="A perversion of nature....how exciting! " T[067]="A pessimist is a person who burns his bridges behind him and then crosses them before he comes to them. " T[068]="A product of my research. Illegal, they said! Legality is for weaklings.
All right, there were a few accidents, not many died, and the buildings were re-built quickly enough. " T[069]="A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. " T[070]="A religion is a heresy with an army " T[071]="A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs. " T[072]="A winner says \"Let\'s find out.\"; a loser says \"Nobody knows.\" " T[073]="ACTIVIST: a person employing tactics in the cause of liberation which, when used by a fascist, are known as McCarthyism and repression. " T[074]="AIR n. An invisible substance, without which we would all probably exhale ourselves to death. " T[075]="Abandon all hope, ye who PRESS ENTER here. " T[076]="Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. " T[077]="Absurdity: a belief inconsistent with one\'s own. " T[078]="According to my best recollection, I don\'t remember. " T[079]="Addition of my name and address to your bulk-email database constitutes acceptance of my offer to remove both of your nipples with an orbital sander. " T[080]="Ah, but a man\'s reach should exceed his grasp. Or what\'s a heaven for?
--Browning, \"Andrea del Sarto\" " T[081]="Alcohol prohibition gave us Eliot Ness.
Drug prohibition gave us Nancy Reagan, George Bush, Manuel Noriega, Oliver North. " T[082]="All I want for Christmas is a box of Smurfs and a mallet. " T[083]="All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power " T[084]="All a girl needs to know to get by in life is written on the top of a mayonnaise jar: \"Keep Cool, Don\'t Freeze\". " T[085]="All generalizations are false... " T[086]="All great truths began as blasphemies. " T[087]="All law is codified revenge. " T[088]="All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism. " T[089]="All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. " T[090]="All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. " T[091]="All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. " T[092]="Although the phrase nowhere occurs in the transcripts, Starglider is generally credited with the famous aphorism \"Belief in God is apparently a psychological artifact of mammalian reproduction\" " T[093]="Always answer a question as concise as you can. It makes folks think of you as intelligent and non-boring, while giving them as little information about yourself as possible. " T[094]="Always glad to share my ignorance - I\'ve got plenty. " T[095]="Always live in the ugliest house on the street - then you don\'t have to look at it. " T[096]="Always remember that a moving neutrino gathers no mass. " T[097]="Always remember you\'re unique - just like everyone else. " T[098]="Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. " T[099]="America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to Agnostics for Christmas. " T[100]="Americans can be relied upon to do the right thing.
After they have exhausted all the other possibilities. " T[101]="An attacker must vanquish, a defender need only survive. " T[102]="An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. " T[103]="An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind. " T[104]="An idea is not responsible for fools who believe in it. " T[105]="An insufficiently developed imagination is indistinguishable from stupidity. " T[106]="An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh. " T[107]="Anarchy - it\'s not the law, it\'s just a good idea. " T[108]="Anatomically impossible, Mr. Garibaldi, but you\'re welcome to try...anytime...anywhere. " T[109]="And God said: DELETE lines One to Aleph. LOAD. RUN. And the universe ceased to exist. Then He pondered for a few aeons, sighed, and added: ERASE. It never *had* existed. " T[110]="And now for something completely else... " T[111]="And now for something completely the same... " T[112]="And now for something ruder... " T[113]="And then Adam said, \"What\'s a headache?\" " T[114]="And there is nothing that depresses me more than seeing a planet being destroyed. Except possibly still being on it when it happens. " T[115]="And we\'ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms in the galaxy...and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. " T[116]="And you thought space was warped. " T[117]="Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. " T[118]="Anger cannot win; it cannot even think clearly. " T[119]="Ankh if you love Isis. " T[120]="Any errors in spelling, tact or fact are transmission errors. " T[121]="Any sufficiently advanced magick is indistinguishable from technology. " T[122]="Any sufficiently low technology is indistinguishable from hard work. " T[123]="Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. " T[124]="Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat. " T[125]="Anything not nailed down is a cat toy. " T[126]="Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well. " T[127]="Anything you get for free costs more than its worth - but you don\'t find it out until later. " T[128]="Apollo was the gateway to the stars. Next time we should open it. " T[129]="Are our knuckles dragging again? " T[130]="Arthur and Trillian had the fixed expressions of rabbits on a night road who think that the best way to deal with approaching headlights is to stare them out. " T[131]="As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. " T[132]="As the inn burned, the brandy in the cellar started to boil. The thing about boiling brandy is that it doesn\'t boil for long.
The fireball dropped bits of the inn half a mile away. " T[133]="As the ravenous creature closed in, Frito\'s last memory was of Spam frantically schpritzing insect repellent into Schlob\'s bottomless gullet. " T[134]="Atheism is a non-prophet organization. " T[135]="Avoid cliches like the plague - they\'re a dime a dozen. " T[136]="BC\'s Dirty Trick #23: Put pumice on your enemy\'s dental floss. The next morning, he gets up and saws his teeth off. " T[137]="BONE n. One of a group of moving parts which moved too slowly to avoid being buried by a dog. " T[138]="Backwards, turn backwards, O time in your flight. Make me a child again, just for tonight. " T[139]="Bah! Government is dayflies. Politics, they come and go, but greed goes on forever. " T[140]="Baltimore is pretty bad. When it rains, it makes its own gravy. " T[141]="Battle no with monsters, lest ye become a monster; and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. " T[142]="Be smart as a cat: Make a friend of your enemy\'s enemy. " T[143]="Be yourself. Who else is better qualified? " T[144]="Beethoven wrote 9 symphonies and they never wrote back. " T[145]="Before We Give It A Thought A Thing Can Seem Near When It Is Not. " T[146]="Being right too soon is always socially unacceptable. " T[147]="Being weird isn\'t enough. " T[148]="Bend others to your will with the Acme SPHERE OF INFLUENCE. Fits easily in purse or pocket. Uses 2 \"D\" Batteries (not incl.) You *will* buy one. Go to the store. Go to the store. " T[149]="Better Living through Alchemy. " T[150]="Biological Imperatives overrides cultural and intellectual considerations. " T[151]="Bombs don\'t kill people - explosions kill people. " T[152]="Books and History and Truth ... Oh My! " T[153]="Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another. " T[154]="Bravado filled his bluster, while urine filled his Underoos. " T[155]="Brothers...stoop not to renounce the quest,
of what may in the sun\'s path be essayed,
the world that never mankind hath possessed. " T[156]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys, the makers of Where in Hell is Carmen Sandiago? " T[157]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys; the makers of Home Campfire Set: you supply the furniture, we supply the matches. " T[158]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys; the makers of Mr. Blister, the stovetop fingerpaint set. " T[159]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys; the makers of Razor Ring, the serrated flying toy. " T[160]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys; the makers of Shake And Run, the live hornet game. " T[161]="Brought to you by Toxo Toys; the makers of Zappy, the electric bathtub toy. " T[162]="But it wasn\'t wisdom, really. It was simply the ability to look at something from several different sides, to see the problem from the top and bottom and around the corner instead of staring at it straight on. " T[163]="But there is was, the fact was out, and Ford Prefect had attached himself to it the way an Arcturian Megaleach attaches itself to its victim before biting his head off and making off with his spaceship. " T[164]="But what comes after? What passes when all of Creation is destroyed, when the gods are dead, and the chosen warriors, and the races of men? Will there be gods again; will there be any earth or heaven? " T[165]="But what if I\'m a figment of my imagination? " T[166]="But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing. " T[167]="But you know, though all through history knights have sneered at merchants, the fact is that in the long run the merchants win and the knights lose. " T[168]="CONFORMIST: One who accepts _establishment_ values without asking troublesome question.
NONCONFORMIST: One who accepts _progressive_ values without asking troublesome questions. " T[169]="Celibacy is not hereditary. " T[170]="Change is never a loss - it is change only. " T[171]="Chaos is King, and Magick is loose in the world! " T[172]="Cheap, fast, good - pick two. " T[173]="Child of a looser god. " T[174]="Childhood and genius have the same master-organ in common - inquisitiveness. " T[175]="Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
-- Calvin (&Hobbes) " T[176]="Children are innocent and love justice, while most adults are wicked and prefer mercy. " T[177]="Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. " T[178]="Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded. " T[179]="Circular definition: see Circular definition. " T[180]="Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction. " T[181]="Clean mind, clean body. Take your pick. " T[182]="Clindar never hurried, except when it was absolutely essential, for haste was a sign of immaturity - and mortality. " T[183]="Commit random kindness and senseless acts of beauty. " T[184]="Conform, go crazy, or become an artist. " T[185]="Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around. " T[186]="Confucius Say: Is Stuffy Inside Fortune Cookie. " T[187]="Conscience: the inner voice warning that someone is looking. " T[188]="Conscious is when you are aware of something, and conscience is when you wish you weren\'t. " T[189]="Conservatives should learn the difference between a sin and a crime, and liberals should learn the difference between a virtue and a requirement. " T[190]="Consider what might be fertilizing the greener grass across the fence. " T[191]="Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea. " T[192]="Criminal - one who gets caught. " T[193]="Cthulhu loves the little children of the world... " T[194]="DEVELOPMENT:
(1) In _fascist_ countries, the exploitation of the environment.
(2) in _progressive_ countries, the utilization of natural resources to satisfy human needs. " T[195]="DO IT - it\'s easier to get forgiveness than permission. " T[196]="Dare to dream - no one can take that away from you. " T[197]="Dateline August 23, 2023: The economy of Earth collapsed today when it was discovered that, through an oversight, the budget of the USA turned out balanced. Suicides occurred in all parts of the Mortgage, Military, and Welfare communities. " T[198]="Death before dishonor, but neither before breakfast. " T[199]="Deaths didn\'t normally take place in tombs, except in rare and unfortunate cases. The open air, the bottoms of rivers, halfway down sharks, any amounts of bedrooms, yes - tombs, no. " T[200]="Democracy is four wolves and a lamb, voting on what to have for dinner. " T[201]="Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes. " T[202]="Despite its high cost, living remains popular. " T[203]="Did you know that \"gullible\" isn\'t in the dictionary? Look it up. " T[204]="Die smiling, life is too important to take seriously. " T[205]="Diplomacy is saying \"nice doggy\" until you find a rock. " T[206]="Disclaimer: We have no wish to offend you unless you\'re a twit. " T[207]="Do not adjust your mind, the fault is with reality. " T[208]="Do not meddle in the affairs of bards, for your name is funny, and it scans to Greensleeves. " T[209]="Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. " T[210]="Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? " T[211]="Do the ends justify the means? The desire to avoid certain means is an end. " T[212]="Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law, but then there is always chaos to consider. " T[213]="Do what you know is right. But try not to get caught. " T[214]="Do witches run spell checkers? " T[215]="Doe not calle up Any that you cannot put downe. " T[216]="Doing my part to piss off the religious right. " T[217]="Doing strange things in the name of art. " T[218]="Don\'t buy things you don\'t need, with money you don\'t have, to impress people you don\'t like. " T[219]="Don\'t find fault, discover remedies. " T[220]="Don\'t forget, as you enjoy your mild spring days and peaceful summer evenings, how lucky you are to live in the temperate region of the Solar System, where the air never freezes and the rocks never melt... " T[221]="Don\'t leap a chasm in two jumps. " T[222]="Don\'t listen to advice. Especially this advice. " T[223]="Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. " T[224]="Don\'t take life so serious, son, it ain\'t nohow permanent. " T[225]="Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. " T[226]="Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. " T[227]="Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn\'t. You cannot shirk this and be a man. " T[228]="Easy as 3.141592653589 " T[229]="Education is about the only thing lying around loose in the world, and it\'s about the only thing a fellow can have as much of as he\'s willing to haul away. -- George Lorimer " T[230]="Education is that which allows you to get into more intelligent trouble. " T[231]="Elder Gods, Old Ones? Bunch of marlarky! HASTUR, HASTUR, HASTUR! See? Nothing hap------ " T[232]="Ella, Ella, Ella...Never knock on Death\'s door.
Ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that. " T[233]="Employees are not allowed to use the Gamma Radiation Lab to heat their lunches. " T[234]="Epitaph on a gravestone: CHEERIO, SEE YOU SOON. " T[235]="Ere sin could blight or sorrow fade,
Death came with friendly care;
The opening bud to Heaven conveyed,
And bade it blossome there. " T[236]="Escape is simply moving to another reality. " T[237]="Eternal nothingness is OK if you\'re dressed for it. " T[238]="Even a small star shines brightly in the dark. " T[239]="Even the sonic screwdriver won\'t get me out of this one. " T[240]="Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. " T[241]="Every nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has an orthonormal basis. " T[242]="Every person you meet knows something you don\'t. Learn. " T[243]="Every why hath a wherefore. " T[244]="Everybody talks about reality, but nobody does anything about it. " T[245]="Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. " T[246]="Everybody wants to see justice done, to somebody else. " T[247]="Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. " T[248]="Everything depends " T[249]="Everything in the universe is packaging, big toys, or meat. " T[250]="Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs. " T[251]="Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. " T[252]="Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator. " T[253]="Expect me... when you see me. " T[254]="Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. " T[255]="Extinguished theologians lie about the cradle of every science as the strangled snakes beside the cradle of Hercules. " T[256]="Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a side of fries, please. " T[257]="F = ma, and all the rest is magic. " T[258]="FRIENDSHIP n. That which occurs when each of two parties sense prominence through the other\'s stupidity. " T[259]="Facts -- attempts to explain magic through logic. " T[260]="Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. " T[261]="Failure is not in falling down, but in staying down. " T[262]="Falls don\'t kill people, it\'s that sudden stop at the end. " T[263]="Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich, and largely tax free. " T[264]="Fear not your enemies, for they can only kill you;
fear not your friends because they can only betray you.
Fear only the indifferent who permit the killers and betrayers to walk safely upon the earth.
-- Edward Yashinsky" T[265]="First rule of fighting. Don\'t get hit. " T[266]="Follow your bliss. " T[267]="For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and big words Bother me. " T[268]="\"Oh, Bother!\" said Pooh, as Christopher Robin got out the Vasaline. " T[269]="For those who believe, no proof is necessary.
For those who don\'t believe, no proof is possible. " T[270]="For when two beings who are not friends are near each other, there is no meeting; and when friends are apart, there is no separation. " T[271]="Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying Blood...blood...blood... " T[272]="Forewarned is half an octopus. " T[273]="Frank Zappa on Religion: Remember that kneeling down is NOT the same as bending over. " T[274]="Freedom x Security = Constant. If you expect more freedom you must give up some security. This applies to individuals, nations, and civilizations. -- Larry Niven " T[275]="Freudian analysis: Microsoft -- small and soft, humm. " T[276]="Friends come and go.
Enemies accumulate. " T[277]="Frito Bugger set out one day with a band of demented dwarves and a discredited Rosicrucian named Goodgulf to separate a dragon from his hoard of short-term municipals and convertible debentures. " T[278]="Frodo gave his finger for you. " T[279]="From my brain, an organ with a mind of it\'s own. " T[280]="FTL starflight was finally achieved via the Rubber Chicken Drive in 2197, to the complete disgust of everyone. " T[281]="Gee, Yogi, I don\'t think Mr. Ranger\'s gonna like this. " T[282]="Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day,
but give him a case of dynamite, and soon the village will be showered with mud and seaweed and unidentifiable chunks of fish.\" " T[283]="Give a man a fish, and you\'ll feed him for a day;
give him a religion, and he\'ll starve to death while praying for a fish. " T[284]="Give someone a fish, and they will eat for a day;
teach them to fish, and you get rid of them on weekends. " T[285]="Give them all they want,
and all they want is more! " T[286]="Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O\'Rourke" T[287]="Go on and try it. The worst you can do is make a fool of yourself in front of all your friends. " T[288]="God created man in his image, then Man returned the favor. " T[289]="God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the weaponry to make the difference. " T[290]="God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. " T[291]="God is merciful. He will not do everything and thus take away our free will and that share of glory that belongs to us.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli " T[292]="God must love the Common Man; He made so many of them. " T[293]="God said \"E = (Mv^2)/2 - (Ze^2)/r\" and there was light. " T[294]="God said \"Let there be physics, let there be evolution, and the rest is left as an exercise for the reader.\" " T[295]="Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad ones " T[296]="Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed. " T[297]="Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the rest rode by him, praying for their fate to be quick, painless, and, if possible, someone else\'s. " T[298]="Gotta run, the cat\'s caught in the printer. " T[299]="Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. " T[300]="Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. " T[301]="Guard the Mysteries - constantly reveal them. " T[302]="Guilt looks only to the past. " T[303]="HAL was told to lie, by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn\'t know how. " T[304]="HELP WANTED: Man (or whatever) to hold down emergency self-destruct cancellation switch for Planet Norf in the 82 Eridani system while I take a break. Job security. " T[305]="HERO: A person who sacrifices and takes risks in a _progressive_ cause.
STORMTROOPER: A person who sacrifices and takes risks in a _fascist_ cause. " T[306]="Had there been an actual emergency, you would no longer be here. " T[307]="Hail Caesar! We who are about to dine salad you. " T[308]="Hail to the Sun God! He is the Fun God! Sun God! Fun God! Ra! Ra! Ra! " T[309]="Half of the people in the world are below average. " T[310]="Happiness descended upon him. He didn\'t even have time to step aside. " T[311]="Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror. " T[312]="Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror. " T[313]="Happiness seems to require a modicum of external prosperity. " T[314]="Have you ever seen a zombie try to play a guitar? It\'s helping him find his fingers afterwards that\'s so embarrassing. " T[315]="He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. " T[316]="He either fears his fate too much, or his desserts are small, who dares not put it to the touch, to win or lose it all. " T[317]="He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. " T[318]="He had that insatiable curiosity that, he had said, was the hallmark of wizards: the lust for knowledge that superseded even the most elementary considerations of physical comfort or safety. " T[319]="He had told her that curiosity was the leading characteristic of any wizard, and that a mage would pursue a riddle to the brink of his own grave. " T[320]="He has Van Gogh\'s ear for music. " T[321]="He heard what sounded like a nuclear wind roaring down the corridor towards him. \"What now?\" Rimmer thought, rather irritably, and was suddenly hit full in the face by a nuclear explosion. " T[322]="Pardon him, Theodotus: He is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. " T[323]="He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. " T[324]="He knows so little and knows it so fluently. " T[325]="He longed to look at the sky and see the huge artificial ozone plug which sat above the earth like an absurd toupee, constructed to repair the damage caused by two generations of people who wanted to flavor their sweat. " T[326]="He remembered Bromosel\'s ill-omened dream, and noticed a huge and rather menacing vulture sitting on his left shoulder, picking its teeth and singing an inane song about a grackle. " T[327]="He said he liked my singing, too.
Everybody else said it sounded like a flock of vultures who\'ve just found a dead donkey. " T[328]="He saw a gigantic neon sign flashing out the letters \"Topless-Bottomless Bar\" which he hoped meant more nudity and not prefrontal lobotomy and gluteotomy. " T[329]="He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. " T[330]="He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes. " T[331]="Heisenberg may have been here. " T[332]="Heisenberg may have been here. " T[333]="Hel was a Pluto sized twerp of a straggler planet which, like an orphaned puppy, had taken up with the first warm body it had come across. " T[334]="Help Stamp Out Intolerance! " T[335]="Help me look, please? I\'ve lost my damned innocence again. " T[336]="Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he\'s bloody annoyed. " T[337]="Hex dump: Where witches put used curses... " T[338]="His Highness, Tempus Fugit, King and Chief Chemist of Eta Cassiopeiae died today while testing a new drug designed to stop aging. IT WORKS! were his last words. " T[339]="His signal-to-noise ratio is epsilon. " T[340]="His super power is to turn into a scotch terrier. " T[341]="Hmmm... It\'s either very young cheese or very old meat. " T[342]="Hollowpoints - the ultimate in feminine protection. " T[343]="Home of Doberman Propulsion Laboratories: The ultimate in watchdog weaponry. " T[344]="Honeymoon: time between \"I do\" and \"you\'d better\" " T[345]="How can I prove I am not crazy to people who are? " T[346]="How did the Wicked Witch of the West take a bath? " T[347]="How do you get Schrodinger\'s Cat into the box? " T[348]="How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. " T[349]="How many licks does it take to get to the blind nuclear chaos at the center of the universe? " T[350]="However many holy words you read, what good will they do if you do not act on them? " T[351]="Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. " T[352]="Humans are animals in search of the ultimate orgasm. " T[353]="I am not young enough to know everything. " T[354]="I am who I pretend to be at that point in time and space. " T[355]="I asked my cat if he is a space alien. Obviously he is not telling Earth people anything. " T[356]="I been readin\' \'bout how maybe they is planets peopled by folks with Ad-vanced brains. On the other hand, maybe our intellects is the universe\'s most advanced.
Either way, it\'s a mighty soberin\' thought. " T[357]="I can only conclude I am paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate. " T[358]="I didn\'t believe in reincarnation the last time, either. " T[359]="I didn\'t know it was impossible when I did it. " T[360]="I disclaim any knowledge of the above message and its contents. " T[361]="I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. " T[362]="I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use. " T[363]="I don\'t have the solution but I really admire the problem. " T[364]="I don\'t mind being in touch with reality as long as I don\'t have to live there. " T[365]="I don\'t pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of. " T[366]="I don\'t remember volunteering for this \"Ring\" business. " T[367]="I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago. " T[368]="I have a grip on reality, just not this particular one. " T[369]="I have a mind like a steel sieve. " T[370]="I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered. " T[371]="I keep six honest serving men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who. " T[372]="I know everything about everything, except that. " T[373]="I know it all. I just can\'t remember it all. " T[374]="I live in La Maison De La Casa Haus (the House House House). " T[375]="I live in a quiet neighborhood - they use silencers. " T[376]="I love my country but I fear my government. " T[377]="I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up " T[378]="I may not always be perfect, but I\'m always me. " T[379]="I miss the dinosaurs. " T[380]="I once heard the survivors of a colony of ants that had been partially obliterated by a cow\'s foot seriously debating the intentions of the gods towards their civilization. " T[381]="I read banned books. " T[382]="I refuse to be intimidated by reality anymore. " T[383]="I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. " T[384]="I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it? " T[385]="I think that the past is behind us - it\'d be real confusing if not. " T[386]="I try to make everyone\'s day a little more surreal. " T[387]="I vote that we work up Sumpjumper\'s Incendiary Surprise and lob it through the door. No more problem. " T[388]="I want money in order to buy the time to get the things that money will not buy. " T[389]="I was going to procrastinate but I kept putting it off. " T[390]="I\'d love to, but there\'s a disturbance in the Force. " T[391]="I\'ll have to put something into their food to make them forget about this. " T[392]="I\'m a very dangerous fellow when I don\'t know what I\'m doing. " T[393]="I\'m as confused as a baby in a topless bar. " T[394]="I\'m nobody. Nobody at all. But the secrets of the universe don\'t mind. They reveal themselves to nobodies who care. " T[395]="I\'m not afraid to die. I just don\'t want to be there when it happens. " T[396]="I\'m not born again - my Mother got it right the first time. " T[397]="I\'m not breaking the rules - I\'m just testing their elasticity. " T[398]="I\'m not saying what I\'m saying. I\'m not saying what I\'m thinking. For that matter, I\'m not even thinking what I\'m thinking. " T[399]="ILLITERATE? Write for free brochure " T[400]="If God had ment for us to be naked, we would have been born that way. " T[401]="If I cannot do great things, I can do small things greatly. " T[402]="If I had my life to live over again, the first thing I would do would be to invent an entirely new system of symbols whereby to convey my ideas. " T[403]="If I put water in my dog\'s mouth, will bells ring? " T[404]="If I were you, who\'d be me? " T[405]="If Life is a stage, I\'d like better lighting. " T[406]="If You Pass This Point You Will Most Certainly Die.
-- sign on birth canal " T[407]="If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. " T[408]="If at first you don\'t succeed, change the rules. " T[409]="If entropy is increasing, where is it all coming from? " T[410]="If it appeals to everyone, evangelists will target it. " T[411]="If it\'s God\'s will, who gets the money? " T[412]="If life\'s a joke, I don\'t get it. " T[413]="If little else, the brain is an educational toy. " T[414]="If the bars are sufficiently distant, you don\'t know you\'re in jail .... " T[415]="If there\'s one thing I can\'t stand, it\'s intolerance. " T[416]="If this isn\'t war, why is CNN massing on the border? " T[417]="If voting could bring change, it would be illegal. " T[418]="If we do meet again - why, we shall smile. If not, why then this parting was well made. " T[419]="If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed. " T[420]="If you are horny, it\'s lust, but if your partner\'s horny, it\'s affection. " T[421]="If you are who you eat, will I be you in the morning? " T[422]="If you are willing to die, you can do anything. " T[423]="If you attack apparent negativity with negativity, you merely feed and inflame the source. " T[424]="If you buttered the cat\'s back what side would he land on? " T[425]="If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn\'t lead anywhere. " T[426]="If you can read this you have a modem. " T[427]="If you can\'t say something nice, say something surrealistic. " T[428]="If you did it and lived, then you probably did it right. " T[429]="If you don\'t like yourself, you can\'t like other people. " T[430]="If you ever go temporarily insane, don\'t shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you\'d really be surprised. " T[431]="If you ignore the rules, people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don\'t apply to you. " T[432]="If you search for the unknown, expect to be surprised. " T[433]="If you wish to become a philosopher, you must try to get rid of beliefs which depend solely upon the place and time of your education, and upon what your parents and schoolmasters told you. " T[434]="Ignorance isn\'t inherently shameful - we\'re all born ignorant. It\'s only when one is ignorant and doesn\'t care that one achieves stupidity. " T[435]="Imagination with out learning is having wings but no feet. " T[436]="In Drallar, administrative offices wove in and about one another like copulating squid. " T[437]="In his cellar under Mrs. Cake\'s house, Schleppel the bogiyman paused halfway through his third rat and listened. " T[438]="In moments of adversity
when life\'s a total wreck
I think of those worse off than me
and really feel like heck. " T[439]="In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. " T[440]="In the beginning, there was nothing. So God created Light. There was still nothing, but at least you could see it better. " T[441]="In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. " T[442]="Ingold could be the least visible man he had ever met. The wizard observed the world like a hunter from an unseen blind; concealment appeared to be his second nature. " T[443]="Inside every lump of coal is a diamond waiting to get out. " T[444]="Isn\'t it amazing how much fun two people can have just by taking their clothes off? " T[445]="It doesn\'t have to make sense! It just has to work! " T[446]="It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. " T[447]="It is a poor sort of man who is content to be spoon-fed knowledge that has been filtered through the canon of religious or political belief. " T[448]="It is a poor sort of man who will permit others to dictate what he may or may not learn. " T[449]="It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge. " T[450]="It is claimed that religious intolerance is the fruit of conviction. I am tempted to think, however, that religious fanaticism often is the result not of conviction but rather of doubt and insecurity " T[451]="It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death! " T[452]="It is said that life is cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free. " T[453]="It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block. " T[454]="It is the passion in a kiss that gives it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it. " T[455]="It isn\'t the mountains ahead that are wearing you out. It\'s that grain of sand in your shoe. " T[456]="It isn\'t what people think that\'s important, but the reason they think what they think. " T[457]="It seemed as harmless, and as far removed from human affairs, as the fogged photographic plate in Becquerel\'s laboratory that led, in only fifty years, to the fireball above Hiroshima. " T[458]="It takes all kinds of people to make a world, but did you ever think the percentages were wrong? " T[459]="It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow. " T[460]="It would be nice if entropy could be used for something constructive. " T[461]="It\'s YOUR God, they\'re YOUR rules, YOU burn in YOUR hell. " T[462]="It\'s a dirty job, but someone\'s gotta pawn it off on someone else. " T[463]="It\'s a particle! No, it\'s a wave! No, it\'s a dessert topping! " T[464]="It\'s like the difference between seeing a beautiful new star in the winter sky and actually being close to a supernova. It\'s the difference between the beauty of morning dew on a cobweb and actually being a fly. " T[465]="It\'s never too late to have a happy childhood. " T[466]="It\'s no use crying over spilt milk; it only makes it salty for the cat. " T[467]="It\'s not that Absolute Power corrupts Absolutely, so much as Absolute Power attracts the Absolutely Corruptible. " T[468]="It\'s not the years, it\'s the mileage. " T[469]="It\'s not who wins or loses, it\'s who keeps score. " T[470]="Jinxy\'s Veterinary and Taxidermy -- \"Either Way You Get Your Dog Back\"! " T[471]="Junk - stuff we throw away. Stuff - junk we keep. " T[472]="Just because everything is different doesn\'t mean anything has changed. " T[473]="Just because you ignore the facts, does not mean that they cease to exist. " T[474]="Just sliding down the razor blade of life. " T[475]="Just when you think you\'ve finally hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel. " T[476]="Keep one still, secret spot; where dreams may go; and sheltered so; may thrive and grow. " T[477]="Keep the books. Burn the censors! " T[478]="Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. " T[479]="Klein bottle for rent---inquire within. " T[480]="Knights in shining armor are easy targets. " T[481]="Kreuger smiled at him, that foxy-grandpa grin some politicians hope implies that they can think faster than they talk. " T[482]="Laugh now, but one day we\'ll be in charge... " T[483]="Lazlo\'s Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn\'t care less. " T[484]="Lead me not into temptation - I can find it for myself. " T[485]="Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
-- W. Edwards Deming " T[486]="Legalize freedom. " T[487]="Let me know if you didn\'t receive this message! " T[488]="Let\'s get some chaos into this confusion. " T[489]="Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. " T[490]="Life is complex. It consists of real and imaginary parts. " T[491]="Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it. " T[492]="Life is the leading cause of death " T[493]="Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules " T[494]="Life is too important to be taken seriously. " T[495]="Life isn\'t always fair, but it shouldn\'t cheat that much. " T[496]="Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. " T[497]="Life\'s tough, but it\'s tougher if you\'re stupid. " T[498]="Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness are NOT special rights " T[499]="Light thinks that it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always gotten there first, and is waiting for it. " T[500]="Like attracts like. Whatever the conscious mind thinks and believes, the subconscious identically creates. " T[501]="Lister had insisted the dog\'s milk be flushed out into the vacuum of space, where it had instantly frozen, leaving a huge dog-milk asteroid for some future species to ponder over. " T[502]="Living on Earth includes an annual free trip around the Sun. " T[503]="Loneliness: Having a memory and no one to share it with. " T[504]="Lord Death had tried fiery steeds and skeletal horses in the past, and found them impractical, especially the fiery ones, which tended to set light to their own bedding and stand in the middle of it looking embarrassed. " T[505]="Losing his kite had been the first of those trivial tragedies that shape a man\'s childhood, whether he remembers them or not. " T[506]="Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics. " T[507]="Love is not enough, but is sure helps. " T[508]="Love your enemies. It drives them crazy. " T[509]="MAD: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence... " T[510]="MAGES do it with their familiars " T[511]="MERCENARY: A soldier who, for pay, serves a government not his own. Cf. United Nations " T[512]="Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. " T[513]="Maintain thy airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee. " T[514]="Make a bold fashion statement: Get Naked! " T[515]="Make somebody happy. Mind your own business. " T[516]="Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. " T[517]="Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. " T[518]="Man cannot discover new oceans until he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. " T[519]="Man is the only animal that blushes. Or has a need to. " T[520]="Man with holes in pockets feels cocky all day. " T[521]="Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. " T[522]="Marching to a different kettle of fish. " T[523]="May the weak nuclear force and the strong nuclear force be with you! " T[524]="McIntyre admitted it was a cruel and pointless sport, which said much about man\'s inhumanity to just about anything to which he could be inhuman. " T[525]="Meaning that mages deal in double talk? That\'s one of our two occupational hazards. And the other one is a deplorable tendency to meddle. " T[526]="Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for poof...ribbit. " T[527]="Memories embellish life. But forgetfulness alone makes it bearable. " T[528]="Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen. " T[529]="Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. " T[530]="Minds, like parachutes, work only when open. " T[531]="Monday is an awful was to spend 1/7 of your life. " T[532]="Money can\'t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. " T[533]="Money is a lousy means of keeping score. " T[534]="Money is how people with no talent keep score. " T[535]="Monotheism is a gift from the gods. " T[536]="Morality and practicality should be congruent. If they\'re not, there is something wrong with one or the other. " T[537]="Morality is simply the attitude we adopt to people we personally dislike. " T[538]="Most people are about as happy as they\'ve made up their minds to be. " T[539]="Most people would sooner die that think; in fact they do so. " T[540]="My brain is the most important thing I have - but look what told me that. " T[541]="My child, a gentleman never remembers anything a lady says to him in the heat of anger - or any other passion for that matter. " T[542]="My commitment is to truth, not consistency " T[543]="My father said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn\'t happen to you every year. " T[544]="My foolish parents taught me to read and write. " T[545]="My fortune cookie was empty. Which by the way is the title of my autobiography. " T[546]="My life is not organized around high probability events. " T[547]="My life my be strange but at least it\'s not boring. " T[548]="My ship came in. Naturally it was the Kobayashi Maru. " T[549]="My shoes are too tight and I have forgotten how to dance. " T[550]="Nature cannot be fooled.
-- Richard P. Feynman, independent report on the destruction of CHALLENGER " T[551]="Nature was his real antagonist, the friendly enemy who never cheated, always played fair, but never failed to take advantage of the tiniest oversight or omission. " T[552]="Necessity is the excuse for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of the tyrant, and the creed of the slave. " T[553]="Necessity is the mother of invention, it is said. Then laziness is surely the father. " T[554]="Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. -William Pitt " T[555]="Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. " T[556]="Never carry a knife to a gunfight. " T[557]="Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you " T[558]="Never express yourself more clearly than you think. " T[559]="Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet! " T[560]="Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. " T[561]="Never moon a person with lycanthropy. " T[562]="Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. " T[563]="Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. " T[564]="Never relax. Your run might be over, but someone, somewhere, is just starting his, and the target might be you. " T[565]="Never say never; say \'highly unlikely\' instead. " T[566]="Never take things at face value. Always bite the coin that feeds you, for this is a hard and wicked universe " T[567]="Never try to out stubborn a cat. " T[568]="Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. " T[569]="Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. " T[570]="Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. " T[571]="Never use one hydrogen bomb when two will suffice. " T[572]="Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to \'occupant.\' " T[573]="Nine hundred years ago, I couldn\'t spell transcendent parahuman deity, and now I are one. " T[574]="Nine-tenths of the power of wizardry comes from making up your own mind what you\'re going to do. The rest of it is just mechanics. " T[575]="No censorship. No exceptions. " T[576]="No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas. " T[577]="No matter how hard you throw a dead fish in the water, it still won\'t swim. " T[578]="No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp their style. " T[579]="No one is a failure who is enjoying life. " T[580]="No one is more carnal than a recent virgin. " T[581]="No plan survives contact with the enemy. " T[582]="No space traveling man says aught is impossible.
-- Andre Norton " T[583]="No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless its falsehood would be more miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish. " T[584]="Nostalgia ain\'t what it used to be. " T[585]="Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious. " T[586]="Nothing is too wonderful to be true if it be consistent with the laws of nature. " T[587]="Nothing is worth more than this day. " T[588]="Nothing wrong here that a bit of plutonium can\'t fix. " T[589]="Now if I were a landing thruster, which button would I be... " T[590]="Now let\'s all repeat the non-conformist oath. " T[591]="Nudity is nature\'s way of saying \"Hello!\" " T[592]="ONE MAN, ONE VOTE: A legal doctrine requiring that, from time to time, old gerrymanders be replaced with new ones. " T[593]="Of all the people I\'ve met you\'re certainly one of them " T[594]="Of course man made God in his own image; but what was the alternative? " T[595]="Oh goody! Another Eludeium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! " T[596]="Oh, evolve already! " T[597]="Okay, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going? " T[598]="Old Yiddish proverb: If triangles had a God, He\'d have three sides. " T[599]="Oliver Wendell Holmes told us that taxes are the price we pay for civilization. We want a refund. " T[600]="On This Site The Afternoon of June 5th, 1834, Nothing of Any Importance Happened. " T[601]="On a paper submitted by a physicist colleague: \"This isn\'t right. This isn\'t even wrong.\"
-- Wolfgang Pauli " T[602]="On the whole, Gil disliked children, but, like most hard-hearted women, she had a soft spot for the very young and helpless. " T[603]="On this Earth, in this spot, magic settled for a moment. Wonder touched a few lives, and a few odd pieces fell smoothly into the jigsaw of Creation. " T[604]="Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages. " T[605]="Once you have pulled the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend. " T[606]="One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night. " T[607]="One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: never change diapers in mid-stream. " T[608]="Our gun arrays are locked on to your ship, and will fire the instant you come into range. You will find their firepower most impressive ... for a few seconds. " T[609]="Out of my mind! Back in five minutes. " T[610]="Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal. " T[611]="Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read. " T[612]="PERSONNEL: Members of a military or police organization, whether hostile or useful. Not to be confused with human beings. " T[613]="POLITICS (n.) - From the Latin. Poly (many) Tics (ugly little bloodsuckers) " T[614]="POLITICS n. A two handed game, in which mudballs are trump. " T[615]="Pardo\'s First Postulate: Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Arnold\'s Addendum: Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in laboratory rats. " T[616]="Patterson had arrived on Mimas on a nuclear waste dump ship called \"Pax Vert\", which had ejected its putrid load on the Saturnian moon of Tethys. " T[617]="People who object to weapons aren\'t abolishing violence, they\'re begging for rule by brute force, where the biggest, strongest animals among men were always automatically \'right.\' " T[618]="People who take issue with control of population do not understand that if it is not done in a graceful way, nature will do it in a brutal fashion. " T[619]="Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money. " T[620]="Physics is not difficult, it is just weird. " T[621]="Pixel, the cat you don\'t have to let out. " T[622]="Pluralitas non ponenda est sine necessitate. (Multiplicity is not to be asserted when it is unnecessary.)
-- William of Occam [Occam\'s Razor] " T[623]="Politics: n. from Greek; \"poli\"-many; \"tics\"-ugly, bloodsucking parasites. " T[624]="Pornography is in the groin of the beholder. " T[625]="Prepare to meet thy GOD! (Evening dress optional) " T[626]="Printed on 100% recycled electrons. " T[627]="Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. " T[628]="Put a lens in each ear and you\'ve got a telescope. " T[629]="Quick! Act as if nothing\'s happened " T[630]="Quick, hand me the solar-powered flashlight. " T[631]="Quick, hand me the zero-gravity hourglass. " T[632]="Quote the Raven: Eat My Shorts. " T[633]="REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Universe ? (Y/N/Q) " T[634]="REPUBLIC: A country whose government is chosen not on a basis of heredity or riches but by the electorate, from whom political power grows. PEOPLE\'S REPUBLIC: On in which the electorate consists of a gun barrel. " T[635]="REWARD v.t. Something you get, for doing something you wouldn\'t ordinarily do, if it wasn\'t for the reward. " T[636]="ROCK n. To cause something or someone to sway by hitting them with it. " T[637]="RULE: \"(sqrt(-1)) before (2.71828), except after (186,242 miles/sec)\" - The dangers of mixing grammar and science " T[638]="Rainy days and automatic weapons get me down. " T[639]="Ralph\'s Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. " T[640]="Reality is for people who can\'t face science fiction. " T[641]="Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. " T[642]="Reality is O.K. - just don\'t make a habit of it. " T[643]="Reality is only fantasy gone stale. " T[644]="Reality is the opiate of the people. " T[645]="Reality-O-Meter: [\\.......] Hmmph! Thought so. " T[646]="Refugee from Mundania. " T[647]="Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief. " T[648]="Religious practice is an individual\'s right, not a right of the majority to be imposed on other individuals. " T[649]="Remember, girls, to let a fool kiss you is stupid. But to let a kiss fool you is worse. " T[650]="Remember, reason is just the lackey for instinct. " T[651]="Resurrection? Been there, done that. Can you say \"Isis and Osiris?\" " T[652]="Right theory, wrong universe. " T[653]="Rule Number 1 is, don\'t sweat the small stuff. Rule number 2 is, it\'s all small stuff. " T[654]="San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-A-Roni. " T[655]="Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. " T[656]="Saw the heavens fill with commerce,
argosies of magic sails,
Pilots of the purple twilight,
dropping down with costly bales; " T[657]="Say it with flowers - Give her a triffid. " T[658]="Scattered across the universe was the evidence of many failures - some inconspicuous, others so spectacular that they awed and baffled the astronomers of a thousand worlds. " T[659]="Schroedinger\'s cat? Sorry, I haven\'t seen it. " T[660]="Schroedinger\'s Pet Clinic - Give your cat half a chance. " T[661]="Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof. " T[662]="Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination. " T[663]="Second star to the right and straight on till morning " T[664]="Sera nimis vita est crastina: vive hodie. (Tomorrow\'s too late; live today) " T[665]="Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years " T[666]="Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. " T[667]="Shouldn\'t there be a shorter word for monosyllabic? " T[668]="Shouting type religions always strike me as essentially like pep-meetings among salesmen; their manners are so aggressive because they don\'t really believe the code themselves. " T[669]="Sign on spaceship window: In case of fire, break glass. " T[670]="Since politics is the art of the possible, it appeals only to second-rate minds. The first-raters are only interested in the impossible. " T[671]="Sinners can repent, but stupid is forever. " T[672]="Sleeping alone does much harm. Children will tell you how lonely it is sleeping alone. If possible you should always sleep with someone you love. You recharge your mutual batteries free of charge. " T[673]="Smokey the Bear says, \"Strip mining prevents forest fires.\" " T[674]="Some are wise, others are otherwise. " T[675]="Sometimes I think that is all wizardry is - the lust for knowledge. All the rest - illusions, the balance of minds and elements around us, the ability to save or destroy a world - are mere incidentals " T[676]="Sometimes, the truth can be so unnecessary. " T[677]="Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering. " T[678]="Statistics are like a Bikini. What they reveal is very nice. What they conceal is even more important. " T[679]="Stupidity is an equal-opportunity employer " T[680]="Sunrise. Several billion trillion tons of superhot exploding hydrogen nuclei rose slowly above the horizon and managed to look small, cold, and slightly damp. " T[681]="Sure you can trust the government. Just ask a whale or an Indian. " T[682]="Thanks to Caroline, Dr. Floyd could now contemplate the memory of his late wife without grief, though not without a wistful sadness that would remain with him for the rest of his life. " T[683]="That may very well be so true, but my mind working am not. " T[684]="That type of number is now known to be one of those most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whos existence can only be defined as being anything other than itself. " T[685]="That was one of the advantages to being dead. You spotted things that the living ignored. " T[686]="That\'s how we wizards get our reputation for eccentricity. We do things that people don\'t understand, for we see things differently and act as we see fit. " T[687]="The Best Techniques are passed on by the survivors
-- Gaiden Shinji, Blademaster, First Era 947 " T[688]="The Bishop said \"The Devil guards his own.\"
Ingold said politely \"As does the Straight God, my lady. But we wizards are of neither world and so must protect ourselves as best we can.\" " T[689]="The Church talks about magic as the illusions of the Devil, but it comes down to the fact that we wizards have the power to change the universe materially and we owe neither them nor their God allegiance. " T[690]="The King of Death who poses against the skyline and gets lit up by lightning flashes doesn\'t turn up at five-and-twenty past eleven if he can possibly turn up at midnight. " T[691]="The Martian canals were the Martians\' last ditch effort. " T[692]="The New Age is just like the old age - only newer. " T[693]="The Old Ones were, the Old Ones are, and the Old Ones shall be. They ruled once where man rules now; where man rules now, they shall rule again. Not in the spaces we know, but between them. " T[694]="The Universe doesn\'t give you any points for doing things that are easy. " T[695]="The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote. " T[696]="The best way to show someone that they are wrong, is to let them have their way. " T[697]="The chessboard is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the universe, the rules of the game are what we call the laws of nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us. " T[698]="The city of Ankh-Morpork is as full of life as an old cheese on a hot day, as loud as a curse in a cathedral and as full of activity, industry, bustle and sheer exuberant busyness as a dead dog on a termite mound. " T[699]="The condensed Necronomicon - coming soon from Reader\'s Digest. " T[700]="The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me. " T[701]="The desultory Effluvium washed these green lands and year after year provided the ingrate residents with bumper crops of salamanders and anopheles mosquitoes. " T[702]="The difference between a flower and a weed is judgment. " T[703]="The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. " T[704]="The discovery that the most devout adherent of any faith could be converted to any other by a judicious dose of 2-4-7 ortho-para-theosamine was, perhaps, the most devastating blow ever received by religion. " T[705]="The earth shook. Cthulhu rose from the Depths waving white-stained garters and stocks, bonds, and currencies of all nations, boards, and corporations. " T[706]="The existential root of Libertarianism is the experience of being very bad at taking orders from morons.
--Leopold Leider " T[707]="The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. " T[708]="The eyes are very vulnerable to high-gravity acceleration, second only to bad hearts and full bladders. " T[709]="The fates lead him who will - him who won\'t they drag. " T[710]="The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long... and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. " T[711]="The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality. " T[712]="The gene pool has no lifeguard. " T[713]="The gentle journey jars to stop;
The drifting dream is done.
The long gone goblins loom ahead;
The deadly, that we thought were dead,
Stand waiting, every one.
-- Walt Kelly " T[714]="The gods love heroes. They also love a good laugh. Think about it. " T[715]="The greatest act of faith we are capable of is that of loving another more than we love ourselves, and occasionally we can be quite good at it. " T[716]="The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. " T[717]="The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. " T[718]="The key political question: Under what circumstances is it moral for a group to do that which is not moral for a member of that group to do alone? " T[719]="The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder. " T[720]="The last function of reason is to recognize that there is an infinity of things which surpass it. " T[721]="The lecture theatre hatchway breezed open, and Rimmer clicked up to the podium in boots so brightly polished you could see infinity in them. " T[722]="The less a politician amounts to, the more he loves the flag. " T[723]="The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves. " T[724]="The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can\'t read them. " T[725]="The man who makes no mistakes generally doesn\'t make anything. " T[726]="The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse. " T[727]="The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. " T[728]="The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself
-- Sir Richard F. Burton " T[729]="The more you depend on forces outside yourself, the more you are dominated by them. " T[730]="The most bitter lies can be those a person tells himself. " T[731]="The most effective way to achieve the right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression. " T[732]="The most important things in life aren\'t things. " T[733]="The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. " T[734]="The obscure we see immediately, the completely apparent takes a little longer. " T[735]="The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. " T[736]="The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us...and our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast, terrible in-between. " T[737]="The philosophy exam was a piece of cake---which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper. " T[738]="The prisoners were beyond terror now, glazed eyes becoming one-way glasses keeping reality at bay. Wake up some day and find it all a bad dream. Ha. " T[739]="The question Artsutanov had asked himself had the childlike brilliance of true genius. A merely clever man could never had thought of it, or would have dismissed it instantly as absurd. " T[740]="The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. " T[741]="The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that\'s the way to bet. " T[742]="The rich get richer; the poor get babies. " T[743]="The right to be left alone is the root of all freedom. " T[744]="The sergeant leaned back in his chair, whose cushion would have been thrown out of its basket in disgust by an incontinent dog. " T[745]="The sign on the 12-million-ton Hoover Dam reads: \"US Government property. Do not remove.\" " T[746]="The sign on the Norman camp said \"Abandon hope, ewe who enter\". " T[747]="The sooner I never see your face again, the better it will be for both of us when we meet! " T[748]="The sun beat down upon my face, fluffy white clouds skittered their way across the scintillating sky, and this moment could have been nominated for perfection if it wasn\'t for that giant leech attached to my thigh. " T[749]="The temptation to moralize is strong; it is emotionally satisfying to have enemies rather than problems. But God also knows that what is emotionally satisfying can be spiritually devastating. " T[750]="The trick is to die young as old as possible. " T[751]="The truth never hurts, unless it ought to. " T[752]="The truth shall make ye free, but first it shall make ye miserable. " T[753]="The two most common elements in the known universe are hydrogen and stupidity. " T[754]="The universe does not have laws - it has habits, and habits can be broken. " T[755]="The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest. " T[756]="The universe is full of magickal things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. " T[757]="The universe is surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes. " T[758]="The unnatural, that too is natural.
-- Goethe " T[759]="The way some people find fault, you\'d think there was a reward. " T[760]="The whole Western world has gone mad because Saint Paul had a phobia about the vagina dentata. " T[761]="The wise man defends himself by never being attacked. " T[762]="The wizard shook his pocket watch. A small hatch opened under the 12 and a very small demon poked its head out and said \"Knock it off, guv\'nor, I\'m peddling as fast as I can\" " T[763]="The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won\'t wait while you do the work. " T[764]="The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder. " T[765]="Their beginnings lie far back in the Good Old Days when the planet was populated with the kind of colorful creatures you have to drink a quart of Old Overcoat to see nowadays. " T[766]="Then the nuclear missiles had bloomed for a moment into that indescribable flame, sending out into space a message that in centuries to come other eyes than Man\'s would see and understand. " T[767]="There are always risks in freedom. The only risk in bondage is that of breaking free. " T[768]="There are few more dangerous things in the world than an untaught mageborn. " T[769]="There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? " T[770]="There are more of us than you think. " T[771]="There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in. " T[772]="There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. " T[773]="There are three things I\'ve learned not to discuss with people: Religion, Politics, and the Great Pumpkin. " T[774]="There are two great rules of life: never tell everything at once. " T[775]="There are two things to aim for in life: first to get what you want; and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. " T[776]="There are very few problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. " T[777]="There are very few problems that cannot be solved by ripping a hole in reality. " T[778]="There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about. " T[779]="There is a very fine line between fantasy and reality - and I\'d just as soon obscure it. " T[780]="There is little sense in attempting to change external conditions, you must first change inner beliefs, then outer conditions will change accordingly. " T[781]="There is no point in getting angry, but there is a stupid malignity to all this that does try one\'s patience. " T[782]="There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can\'t cope with. " T[783]="There is no sin greater than ignorance
-- Rudyard Kipling " T[784]="There is no statute of limitations on stupidity. " T[785]="There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don\'t know. " T[786]="There isn\'t time enough for love, so what does that leave for hate? " T[787]="There were few things that an immortal welcomed and valued more greatly than surprise; when there was none left in the universe, it would be time to die. " T[788]="There were many races who had stood thus upon the threshold of the universe, only to be destroyed by the sight of treasures too great for their self control, and mysteries too deep for their minds. " T[789]="There would always be a bond between them - not of love, but of tenderness, which is often more enduring. " T[790]="There\'s always the temptation to let other people think you are normal. " T[791]="There\'s an ancient philosophical joke that\'s much subtler than it seems:
Question: Why is the Universe here?
Answer: Where else would it be? " T[792]="There\'s an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to. " T[793]="These were young, sulky, adolescent mountains. One yodel out of place would attract, not the jolly echo of a lonely goatherd, but fifty tons of express-delivery snow. " T[794]="They discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying. " T[795]="They may have claymores and dragons, but we\'ve got BOLOs and Ogres Mk V\'s " T[796]="They say that dying was just like going to sleep, although of course if you weren\'t careful bits of you could rot and drop off. " T[797]="They too might look across the 50,000 light-years to the core of the Galaxy, glimpse the titanic forces flickering there among the most ancient of the stars - and marvel at the mentalities that must control them. " T[798]="They walked in springtime freshness while lovebirds chirped amidst the olive branches and doves cooed softly and musically at their feet, occasionally squawking as they were stepped on. " T[799]="They went, walking in silent apprehension. Which is all right as long as you wipe your shoes off afterwards. " T[800]="They were only teeny little A-bombs, honest! " T[801]="Things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler. " T[802]="Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. " T[803]="Think! It may hurt but it pays off in the long run. " T[804]="This is not a clear and present danger? I must read the rulebook again. " T[805]="This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. " T[806]="This message has been brought to you by the number 5 and the letter F. " T[807]="Thoreau\'s Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life. " T[808]="Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do. " T[809]="Those who beat their swords into plowshares tend to get killed by those who keep their swords intact. " T[810]="Those who sacrifice a little liberty for a little security deserve neither.
-- Benjamin Franklin " T[811]="Thoughts are like boomerangs. " T[812]="Thoughts good! Slogans bad! Thoughts good! Slogans bad! " T[813]="Time has very little to do with infinity and jelly donuts. " T[814]="Time is just an illusion perpetuated by the manufacturers of space. " T[815]="Time passed. Susan waited. The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn\'t ring. Or the phone. " T[816]="To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as the administer medicine to the dead. " T[817]="To avoid criticism: Say nothing, Do nothing, Be nothing. " T[818]="To be positive is to be wrong at the top of one\'s voice. " T[819]="To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain, and a positive crime in the statesman. " T[820]="To find yourself, think for yourself. " T[821]="To punish me for my contempt for authority, Fate has made me an authority myself. " T[822]="Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. " T[823]="Today\'s subliminal thought is: " T[824]="Tools do nothing. Tools and a brain build things. " T[825]="Tradition is no excuse for insensitivity or racism. " T[826]="Treason doth never prosper: what\'s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason. " T[827]="Trees don\'t fall in the forest when no one\'s around to hear them. Sometimes they just happen to be on the ground when you see them again. " T[828]="True Love: An injection with affection to the midsection from a projection, without objection. " T[829]="Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I\'m not sure about the universe. " T[830]="Two thousand years since Bethlehem,
and still we hear the lie,
that after years of hopes and fears,
the best part\'s when we die." T[831]="Uncle Ben\'s Perverted Rice - in the leather box. " T[832]="Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it\'s just the opposite. " T[833]="Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, my side, and the Truth. " T[834]="Up doo-doo pulsar without a gravity generator. " T[835]="Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. " T[836]="Using every grungy trick
From booby trap to pungee stick
We hardly need the strength of thirty
When we can win by playing dirty. " T[837]="Veneria ... a fog-shrouded world of untold horrors, creeping in its orbit around the ghoulish green star Hernia like some repellent heavenly trespasser newly arose from the nethermost pit. " T[838]="Virginal Ecstasy: the feeling you feel when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you never felt before. " T[839]="Watch your back. Shoot straight. Conserve ammo. And never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon. " T[840]="We all live under the same sky, but we don\'t all have the same horizon. " T[841]="We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner, holographic demons and invocations of equations. And we know ... many things. " T[842]="We have to believe in our free will; we have no choice in the matter. " T[843]="We live in a Global Village. You are number Six. " T[844]="Weirdness is the best defense. " T[845]="What I am saying, Captain, is that ship is built like a force-field latrine. We, on the other hand, stand as much chance as a tribble in a Nair factory. " T[846]="What color is a chameleon on a mirror? " T[847]="What does ar[a++]=a++ do again? " T[848]="What happens to your fist when you open your hand?
-- Zen Buddhism " T[849]="What if this weren\'t a hypothetical question? " T[850]="What is a magician but a practicing theorist? " T[851]="What is a woman that you forsake her, and the hearth-fire and the home acre, to go with the old grey Widow-Maker? " T[852]="What is hardest of all? That which seems most simple: to see with your eyes what is before your eyes. " T[853]="What is inside the box is known, what is outside the box is unknown. Who made the box? " T[854]="What is the good of being grown-up if you can\'t be childish? " T[855]="What is the output of a vacuum pump? " T[856]="What is the point of being fascinatingly crazy if you don\'t enrich the world with it? " T[857]="What passes for woman\'s intuition is often nothing more than man\'s transparency. " T[858]="Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic, and power. Begin it now. " T[859]="When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero. " T[860]="When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. " T[861]="When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. " T[862]="When imagination and will are in conflict, imagination always wins. " T[863]="When playing cards, look around the table. If you don\'t see a sucker, get up, because you\'re the sucker. " T[864]="When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. " T[865]="When the shadows slink and slither,
and the goblins all parade.
Then reason is a broken reed,
at the Devil\'s Masquerade. " T[866]="When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Esperanto. " T[867]="When you hear the word \"inevitable,\" watch out! An enemy of humanity has identified himself. " T[868]="Who cares for you? You\'re but a deck of cards!\" " T[869]="Why are you wasting time reading taglines? " T[870]="Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free? " T[871]="Why get even when you can get odd? " T[872]="Why isn\'t \"phonetic\" spelled the way it sounds? " T[873]="Why should I grow up? This is more fun! " T[874]="Why take life seriously? You\'re not coming out of it alive anyway! " T[875]="Will James used to preach the \"will to believe.\" For my part, I should wish to preach the \"will to doubt.\" What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the wish to find out, which is the exact opposite. " T[876]="Winchell Chung - Alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force. " T[877]="Wisdom is knowing what to do.
Skill is knowing how to do it.
Virtue is doing it. " T[878]="Witches use brooms because nature abhors a vacuum. " T[879]="With liberty and justice for all who can afford it. " T[880]="Within an hour we had a visit from a gentleman with shifty eyes and an interesting pattern of knife scars where his nose used to be. " T[881]="Within any couple of decades there are liable to arise one or two differences that really make a difference - steam engines, woman\'s suffrage, quantum theory, that sort of thing. " T[882]="Without thinking, Pepsi lashed out with his toenails and ran past, leaving the guard writhing on the ground holding the one area neither protected by his armor nor by his group insurance policy. " T[883]="Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay. " T[884]="Worse case of testosterone poisoning I\'ve ever seen! " T[885]="Wouldn\'t it be worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us happen because we really deserve them? -- Marcus Cole, Babylon 5" T[886]="XENOPHOBIA: Distrust of the ability of strangers to run your life for you. " T[887]="Yeah...and some day the sun will die out. " T[888]="You are free to do whatever you like. You need only to face the consequences. " T[889]="You are given the gift of the gods; you create your reality according to your beliefs. " T[890]="You are touched by darkness ambassador. I could warn you of course, but you would not listen. I could kill you, but someone would take your place. So I do the only thing I can, I go. " T[891]="You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
-- James Thurber " T[892]="You can prove anything if you make up your data. " T[893]="You can turn any conversation into one about sex. " T[894]="You can\'t achieve the impossible unless you attempt the absurd. " T[895]="You can\'t depend on your eyes if your imagination is out of focus. " T[896]="You can\'t put your VISA bill on your American Express card. " T[897]="You can\'t take a crash course in serenity. " T[898]="You didn\'t mess with the Shore Patrol. Not unless you wanted your skull rearranged to resemble a relief map of Mars, canals and all. " T[899]="You narrow hope when you define it. " T[900]="You should always be aware that your head creates your world. " T[901]="You take Zathras, Zathras die. You leave Zathras, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras. " T[902]="You\'re awfully picky for somebody from the twilight zone. " T[903]="You\'re only young once - after that you need another excuse. " T[904]="[[[[[ IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE ]]]]] " T[905]="{tap} {tap} {tap} Is this thing on? " T[906]="We need myth to tell us what direction we should go.
We need satire to tell us that it might be smart to walk around the large hole in the ground just in front of us" T[907]="When art critics get together they talk about Form and Structure and Meaning.
When artists get together they talk about where you can buy cheap turpentine.
-- Pablo Picasso" T[908]="Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." T[909]="This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you'd be writhing on the ground in unspeakable agony, bleeding from every orifice, with your blackened skin falling away in ragged strips." T[910]="I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attacks ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...
Time to die." T[911]="Through the darkness of futures past, the magician longs to see. One chance out between two worlds ... fire, walk with me" T[912]="\"What's that on our sensors?\"
\"It's an, um, cloud, of starships.\"
\"Cloud?\"
\"I know it's not a strictly correct military term, but I counteighty thousand three hundred and twenty two ships. I've told them that we're surrendering.\"" T[913]="To what extent is civilization retarded by the laughing jackasses, the empty-minded belittlers?
--Robert A. Heinlein" T[914]="In the kingdom of the blind, the one eyed-man is lynched." T[915]="The Universe is utterly indifferent to the fact that you do not realize the consequences of your actions, you will have to deal with them just the same." T[916]="Unfortunately we have seen that it is actually much easier for government to restrict the rights of law-abiding citizens than it is for them to prevent crime or punish the guilty." T[917]="Kids, don't try this at home. We are trained professionals and wehaven't a clue to what we're doing." T[918]="Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a tagline outta my hat!" T[919]="The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
--Herbert Spencer" T[920]="Anderson's first law: 80% of the people have 20% of the intelligence." T[921]="There exists within the seed of stars...
Be the spark that kindles it" T[922]="Anything that interferes with individual progress ultimately will retard group progress.
-- George H. Houston" T[923]="Uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug Internet-glob búbhosh skai." T[924]="It's 99% of the lawyers that give the rest a bad name." T[925]="Proud to be a supernova remnant." T[926]="Do you ever get the feeling that Rod Serling is standing around the corner talking about you?" T[927]="\"We\'re not allowed miracles,\" she said. \"We traded them in for technology a long time ago and now we\'re stuck with finding out how things work.\"" T[928]="Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the other s... wait a minute" T[929]="Nature limits what we can do, Science limits what we understand, Theory what we can think, and Religion what we can hope.
--Harold Lindaberry" T[930]="America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. On the road to tyranny, we've gone so far that polite political action is about as useless as a miniskirt in a convent.
--Claire Wolfe" T[931]="Accendamus lucernam plenam massae ardentis. (Let's turn on the lava lamp)" T[932]="A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom.
--Thomas Paine" T[933]="A Liberal is a Conservative who just got arrested." T[934]="Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion." T[935]="I've seen things you newbies wouldn't believe. Attack-morons aflame off the shoulder of rec.arts.sf.written. I watched Cancel posts glitter in the ether near the waikato.ac.nz gateway. All those moments will be lost in time - like beers in the rain. Time to unsubscribe." T[936]="Sneering at something is an admission to failure. You are claiming superior talent or insight ... but declining to use it." T[937]="I am, therefore I'll think." T[938]="There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? And what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same: only love." T[939]="Do you have to coax unionized workers into checking that the ground for the coax is truly unionized?" T[940]="You cannot reason a man out of a position he did not reach through reason." T[941]="I\'ve yet to see anyone - prophet, king, or god, - who could get a thousand cats to agree on anything." T[942]="Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.
-- Marin County newspaper's TV listing for The Wizard of Oz" T[943]="I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost..." T[944]="Indeed. Perceived melanistic kettle syndrome, I fear." T[945]="Awake. Aware. Functional. Pick one." T[946]="Here Spambot! Here ya\' go boy:
webmaster@localhost
abuse@localhost postmaster@localhostFetch that little spam right back to your host now, ya\' hear?" T[947]="Absolutely, except that JEP might take offense at being labeled anything as liberal as \"fascist.\" Like many of us, he wouldn't mind at all if someone were to violently overthrow the U.S. Government and replace it with one based on the U.S. Constitution." T[948]="Gotta go, the cats are being too quiet" T[949]="He who doesn\'t like cats doesn\'t like pets smarter than he." T[950]="Man killed by family cat, after he shoots it 8 times..." T[951]="The very purpose of the First Amendment is to foreclose public authority from assuming a guardianship of the public mind. ... In this field every person must be his own watchman for the truth, because the forefathers did not trust any government to separate the truth from the false for us.
--Thomas v Collins, 323 U.S. 516 (1945)" T[952]="Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much." T[953]="If you're up against someone more intelligent than you are, do something totally insane and let him think himself to death." T[953]="Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you." T[954]="Creationist:
(1) One who follows creationism.
(2) A moron.
(3) A person incapable of doing math.
(4) A liar." T[955]="United with government, religion never rises above the merest superstition; united with religion, government never rises about the merest despotism; and all history shows us the the more widely and completely they are separated, the better it is for both..." T[956]="Demons have existed on the Diskworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorist and freedom fighters." T[957]="The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. --Joe Ancis" T[958]="The danger today is not so much that machines will learn to think and feel but that men will cease to do so" T[959]="In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences. --Robert G. Ingersoll" T[960]="Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. --Henry Louis Mencken" T[961]="There's always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong. --Henry Louis Mencken" T[962]="Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. --P. J. O'Rourke" T[963]="A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --George Bernard Shaw" T[964]="Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power. --John Steinbeck" T[965]="The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. --Oscar Wilde" T[966]="Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --Robert Anton Wilson" T[967]="Never ask the barber if you need a haircut." T[968]="Once you've tried to change the world you find it's a whole bunch easier to change your mind." T[969]="Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood." T[970]="There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason." T[971]="When the government fears the people, we have liberty. When the people fear the government, we have tyranny." T[972]="Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. --Mike Adams" T[973]="Beware the man of one book. --St. Thomas Aquinas" T[974]="I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. --Isaac Asimov" T[975]="It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them. --Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais" T[976]="Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. --Ambrose Bierce" T[977]="Knowledge and belief are two separate tracks that run parallel to each other and never meet, except in the child. --Godfried Bomans" T[978]="If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go. --John Burroughs" T[979]="Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. --Philip K. Dick" T[980]="Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do. --Robert A. Heinlein" T[981]="This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't. --Doug Hofstadter" T[982]="In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. --Friedrich Nietzsche" T[983]="Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence; it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. --Bertrand Russell" T[984]="What has been the fruits of Christianity? ...Superstition, bigotry and persecution. --James Madison, 4th president of the U.S. " T[985]="\A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the lord in vain-- then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system? --Robert Heinlein" T[986]="I do not feel obliged to believe the the same God who endowed us with Sense, Reason, and Intellect had also intended us to forego their use. --Galileo Galilei " T[987]="If God is the answer, it must have been a very stupid question." T[988]="Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful. --Seneca the Younger " T[989]="No matter how you look at it, a religious war is just a bunch of people fighting over who has the best imaginary friend." T[990]="Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church." T[991]="I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. --Stephen Roberts" T[992]="You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe. --Carl Sagan" T[993]="Christians are quick to scoff at the absurdity of other religions when most fail to realize they worship a book that contains talking bushes and donkeys." T[994]="The purpose of the seperation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries. --James Madison, 4th president of the U.S. " var rand = Math.floor(Math.random()*maxIndex) % maxIndex; document.write(T[rand]); //-->